#14 How to Set and Actually Achieve your Goals

Welcome to the mastery method. I’m so excited to be here with you for yet another episode, literally just as I am every single week. Um, and today, as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I would put out an episode Actually achieving your goals. This is what we’re doing today. And honestly, this is literally one of my favorite topics.

Um, it is something that I see a lot of people struggle with. Consistently. And I sincerely hope that everything I put forward today is going to really move the needle for you in your ability to. Actually achieve your goals, because what’s the point in setting them if you aren’t going to attain them? All right.

Now, I am somebody who is crazy disciplined, like insane. Um, and for me, I achieve my goals because my Discipline fundamentally means that I implement the necessary habits and structures into my day and into my life that will support me achieving. What I want, I’m also very good at having sort of a single minded focus and just kind of getting on with it and getting things done.

But for me, my discipline often topples when I end up with far too many things on my plate. And as somebody who likes to put things on her plate. You know, that can sometimes happen. So it’s important to kick off with in understanding that there are two key reasons for the most part, you know, of course there are variations to every rule, but there are two key reasons why you won’t achieve your goals.

The first is that it’s simply not important enough to you. And the second is that you don’t prioritize it because you’re prioritizing something else instead. And the reality is that that ultimately ties straight back into point number one, where it isn’t enough of a, well, it’s not important enough to you.

Okay. Now that we’ve got the hard truth out of the way, let’s dive in. Motivation often is really second place when it comes to achieving any of the goals or, or anything that it is that you’re trying to do. So even in starting a business, there is so much work involved in creating all of the bits and pieces and really It like, it’s, it’s not hard, but there’s a lot to be done.

If you wake up one morning and you’re inspired to get out there on your own, that inspiration on its own will inspire you. It only gets you so far because where your inspiration starts to wane, because there’s a lot of work to do, perhaps it costs more than you thought. There’s all these other things that you have to do for the first few things that you did manage to get down.

You’ve got potentially this problem that was unforeseen, then this issue comes up and then this thing needs your attention and then your day job needs your attention and then your boss. Cause you haven’t filled it, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Motivation doesn’t really carry through in those moments. That is where your discipline, your priority, your mindset, and foundationally and critically your habits.

They are the ones that will see you through. Okay. Now at certain points in our lives and in our years, there are, you know. Milestones like a birthday or an anniversary or an event, or, you know, right now the new year where we do wake up and we are inspired to make a change and where we are inspired to create a difference.

Okay. Let’s dig into this for just a moment. What is it in you that desires this change? What’s this born from? Is it perhaps knowing that we aren’t where we would like to be? That we do desire something more, something better, um, that, you know, things are mediocre and you can make them better. And so it’s this drive in you, perhaps fleeting, perhaps something that’s a slow burn, that’s been kind of waking up in you for quite some time, that desires to come to the surface.

Okay. However, what you are doing in this moment is trying to get away from where you are rather than move towards where you want to be. This is really, really important. It is a very subtle distinction, but one that is incredibly powerful because as we progress throughout today’s episode, I’m going to break down.

down for you, a really powerful process of achieving your goals. And this part is crucial to that success. Okay, moving towards where you want to go. Okay, makes you magnetic. It pulls things to you. Okay, it helps you move forward. All right. However, moving away from where you are brings with you a sticky energy, because there’s a large part of you that is still stuck where you don’t want to be.

And the reality of that is, it is where you are, because If you are 10 kilos overweight and you wake up this morning and you go, you know what, I’m finally going to do this. I’m going to do whatever it takes to drop this weight. You’re not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly be 10 kilos lighter. So there’s this element where you’re like, You’re you have to get yourself out of that now, even if you were driven to where you’re going forward.

Yes, you’re still gonna be needing to move out of that weight, right? The difference is that you are looking for what you want to achieve, what you want to gain, where you’re gonna benefit, versus what it is you’re trying to let go of. The distinction is very much like what I’ve talked about in prior podcast episodes about where your attention goes, energy flows.

So you don’t want to be focusing on all the things you don’t want. And you do want to be putting your attention on where it is you are going and what it is you are creating and what it is you are actively bringing towards you. Okay. So apologies. I’m getting caught up in my, there we go. Now, understanding the intentions behind the goals you wish to achieve is really, really important.

Okay. It’s As I’ve mentioned, really crucial to creating a solid base from which to work from that is absolutely going to assist you in finally achieving what it is you’ve set out to do. Now when it comes to the actual setting of the goal itself. Let’s. Take a minute to have a look at that. So what is it that has inspired you to want to achieve a particular goal?

Now, at this time of year, you know, we often see people wanting to lose weight, for example. So let’s just roll with that for, you know, the example here. What, why is it that you want to lose weight? Is it because you’re not comfortable in your body? Because you don’t feel like you look good. Okay. Because you want to be fit.

Or perhaps because you want more energy. Out of these four examples that I’ve just given you, I want you to take a moment and consider your Which of those two are born from a desire for more and for better? And which two are born from a desire to get away from your current circumstances? And as you’re reflecting on that, you’ve probably identified that wanting to be fit and wanting to have more energy are the ones that are cemented in the drive for more and the drive for better.

They are orientated with where I want to go. I want this more than when I, where I am. Okay. I’m neutral about where I am. I want. I want to be fit. I want more energy. Okay, now let’s play with the language a little bit here because as you’re writing your goals, what I’m going to get you to do is write down the why behind them.

So what is it that’s motivating you? Why is it that you want this? You want to take your business to the next level. Why, what is it that you think it’s going to give you? What is it that you think it’s going to create in your life? Okay. When you can be solid about the why behind your goal, it strengthens your ability to stay on track with it and be well, as I said before, the motivation is there.

Isn’t the singular driver here, but it’s definitely going to carry you through on those days where, you know, your habit is lacking a little bit. Right. Okay, so let’s have a quick look at the language. If you say to me, Anna, I don’t want to be weak, I don’t want to be tired anymore, okay? Then what you’ve written down there is to move away from where you are.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with this because Truthfully with every goal, you’re going to have a little bit of both. You’re going to have, well, I want this, and I also want to move away from that. It’s about us going through the process and ensuring that we can in fact have the moving towards be the stronger element.

Okay. Um, it needs to be a clear sign that. You want what it is you are achieving. You’re being clear with yourself. You’re being clear with the universe. You’ve got pen to paper and you’re putting it out there. All right. Now, if you are focused and I’m sure that you have been, of course, until this point on moving away from where you want to go, you’re probably identifying in yourself that it was harder.

It wasn’t enough of a driver to actually step away from where you were and the reason for that, because you are comfortable in your discomfort. It’s that simple. Your discomfort is not com uncomfortable enough to move you because it’s familiar and it’s habituated and you might not like it, but. Not enough to move away from it.

And if you thought the hard truth was done in the first minute, there it is again. And it is so important, so important for me to just put it out there and say it the way that it is because discipline is hard. Life is hard. We are constantly being thrown things that are beyond our control. And the reality is that we move forward for things that are important enough to us, certainly when we’re conscious about them, because if you are unconsciously just going through your day, then you’re simply going to be.

just going through the habits that you’ve already got and not necessarily having the capacity within you to change them. Okay. Now the next critical aspect of this is recognizing that Your goal is kind or sorry that your desires to move forward and what it is that’s holding you back very in relation to the goals that you set.

Right. So if we’re sticking with our weight loss. example, and you set a goal that you want to lose two kilos in three months, okay? Totally a realistic goal to have, something that is absolutely achievable, um, and the reality is But you to achieve that in three months, boy, you’ve got a lot of wriggle room.

You really do. And so if one of your habits is that you enjoy ice cream, um, it is summer down under. So let’s roll with ice cream. And if you’re in the Northern hemisphere, then I don’t know, a hot chocolate or something like that. Okay. It’s hot. And you’re going to be losing two kilos in three months, right?

So today I can have some ice cream. I’ve got plenty of time to drop two kilos. I’ve got all these other meals that I can be perfect in so I can have ice cream today. Okay. And then three or four days later, it’s like, Oh, I can have some more ice cream. Your habit and the desire for that ice cream. And why wouldn’t it be?

I mean, I like ice cream and substituted with whatever your preferred choice of poison here is, but the desire in relation to your goal, it’s like, well, why am I going to go out and pound the pavement when it’s literally 40 degrees outside and that’s about a hundred plus Fahrenheit. So like it’s hot. Um, No, I’m going to sit inside in the air con and, and.

I have my ice cream. I’ll go for a walk tomorrow when it’s cooler. Okay. So it’s kind of, you’ve got to really make sure that it’s relative. Now let’s take that down a notch. If your goal is to drop a kilo over the course of the week, suddenly you having some ice cream is a bit like, Ooh, it could probably do it once.

But like, no, my focus is I’m going to get this done in a week. Let’s take it down a notch again. If you set yourself a daily calorie limit, um, in order to achieve your sort of two kilo or plus weight loss, then suddenly that ice cream may very well not fit into the course of your total calories today, just because it is so calorie rich.

Right. And so then it’s like, No, my goal is to have whatever calories per day ton of ice cream today. Sorry. ’cause my goal is to lose a kilo in a week. So it’s, IM really important to spend a little bit more time digging into, digging into the breakdown of our goals, really understanding the why, and really being driven.

By where we want to go, because we want our fitness, our energy, our weight loss to be stronger than our desire for that ice cream. And that’s against all of us because that ice cream makes you feel good. Or the hot chocolate or, or, you know, whatever it is that you like. And, you know, the sugar sets off endorphins, you know, there is that happy response, but there is those memories from your childhood that come up, that has that familiarity that you enjoy.

And I’m sorry, I sincerely hope that I’m not encouraging, setting off a craving for you to go and get some ice cream. But I really want to highlight the point that your why needs to be strong. So let’s put some time into making sure that we set ourselves up correctly, because by the end of today, you will have a really powerful process to work through and you can absolutely Nail your goals.

Okay, so first thing I want you to do is Write out a maximum of five goals that you would like to achieve. Now shoot for the moon guys, seriously, just go as big as you can. You only really need one goal for this exercise, but go ahead and just do a maximum of five to start off with. I don’t want to overwhelm you.

And to my point earlier, you know, you don’t want to over. Okay. So go ahead, press pause, write out just your five goals for now. All right. Are we back now? With each of those goals, I would like you to write out why it is that you want to achieve it. Just total brain dump. Okay. You know, three to five reasons more, if you want to, by all means, but it, it doesn’t, it doesn’t have to be meticulous, right?

It just, just get it out of your head, right? What flows for why you would like to achieve these. Once you have done that, we’re going to review the language that you’ve been using. Can you identify whether the words you have written are in a way that is moving you forward, or that is just you’re not looking back, okay?

Because if it is that you’re kind of like trying to move away from where you are rather than being driven by what’s in front of you, let’s take the opportunity before we move on to any next steps to review our language here. I want to encourage you to really rethink How it is that you’ve written these things and what it is that’s important there.

Can you strengthen your why at all? Can you turn the moving away from to something that you are moving towards you? Okay. This is really important. Just really take a few minutes to shift the language and rewrite the phrasing so that it is driving you forward. Okay. Okay. Now, once that is done, we have your goal.

We have your why it is positively framed. We are moving you forward. I hope that fire in your belly is really starting to It’s going to drive you really starting to get you excited and that it’s going to be going. Okay. We’re moving forward. Like we can do this. The next step you’re going to take is breaking down your goal into manageable chunks.

Think of these as mini goals, mini check ins, milestones along the way. Okay. They are still higher level. Um, and if we’re sticking with our weight loss example. So if we have a goal of losing the 10 kilos, then we might have a 2. 5 kilo milestone along the way. Okay. If your goal is to grow your business. It depends on which stage you’re at for what type of goals you might achieve.

They don’t have to be exclusively monetary goals. You can have a goal of building your audience. You can have a goal of doing business development. You can have a goal of rebuilding your website so that it’s more user friendly and so that you can leverage it more for your business purposes. So. It all depends on where you are at now.

Oh, there’s a lot coming outta me today. So if you’re still here and listening, I hope you’re getting excited because I’m just, as I said, I love this topic. All right, now that we have our mini goals, our mini check-ins sorted. Let’s start having a think about the tasks, the actions, the changes that need to be made in order to achieve the first mini milestone.

Okay. There is no reason that you absolutely need to have. Everything plotted out from day one, what gets you here won’t get you there. What you need to do to lose your first 2. 5 and your first five kilos won’t be the same as your next five kilos. Maybe it will, it depends on how much weight you’ve got to lose, but do you see what I mean?

You are going to need to tweak and adapt. So for the process of not overwhelming, let’s just write out. The changes that we’re going to make for our first 2. 5 kilo loss. Okay. Okay. Once we’ve got our milestone and our tasks for that milestone, we’re going to take it one step further. What? Habits. Do you need to implement in order to achieve these actions and activities actually happening?

Okay. With our first 2. 5 kilo weight loss, that often comes pretty easily. Simply drinking more water, um, and reducing processed foods will shift a lot of that initial water weight in a lot of people. And it’s That can sometimes be enough. Okay, and your habit might simply be I’m going to commit to drinking two liters of water per day, and I’m cutting out the soft drink.

Okay, the secondary habit may be I’m going to replace this processed food with An apple or a piece of fruit instead. Okay. So we want to have a habit. Both of those are habits that you can easily implement in your life. We all consume some form of hydration and we all consume some form of sleep. form of food.

So it’s not like I’m deciding to get up and suddenly go and run five kilometers, never having run before. Okay. So it makes it very easy when you can stack your habits with something else that you are already doing. When you’re preparing your meals, you prepare an apple instead of a muesli bar, hypothetically, right?

You prepare your water instead of grabbing the soft drink instead. So have a think about the habits that would support you within your business. Your habit may look like I’m going to put 30 minutes aside every day for this activity. Okay. Or I’m going to socials every day because I’m building my audience.

Or I’m going to learn this and I’m going to take this amount of time to do it. Okay. And then we plan that out in our schedule to ensure that we stick with it. Okay. Now, if you are somebody that gets easily overwhelmed or has a habit of taking on too many things, and you find yourself consistently. Not completing or not sticking with things.

I’m going to say, start off really small because. Your goal may need to be as simple as, I’m going to commit to sticking to something and I’m going to pick something really small. Let’s take the timeline away and let’s just commit to making one small change at a time. One habit, one positive habit that is going to move you forward.

Okay. Now, if it’s still feeling like it’s. To hard basket, we can make that one habit even smaller by, like I said before, stacking it with something that you are already doing. For example, you get up every morning, you brush your teeth. Your habit might be, I’m going to moisturize my face in the mornings because it’s not something I do.

Okay. And you’re linking it with an action that you are already taking. You don’t think about brushing your teeth in the morning. You simply get up, it gets done and you go on with your day. It’s not like, Oh, maybe I should, maybe I shouldn’t, you know, it’s a bit cold outside. So I won’t brush my teeth this morning.

No, you just, whatever. Um, so I want to take away the stigma that, you know, not doing something once is, is relevant example for you here that you just simply do, that is an unbreakable standard for you. If you come home late one night, cause you’ve been out partying and you’re super tight and you go to bed and you don’t brush your teeth, you don’t suddenly freak out thinking, Oh my God, I’ve ruined.

No, you just get up the next day and you straight back into the habit. Right? So I want to take away the stigma that, you know, not doing something once is, is relevant. Means it’s not going to get done again. There’s a difference between skipping your habits versus knowing that it simply is a part of your life.

It’s an unbreakable habit. And then if you can’t, you can’t. And that every other day you will. And it’s that simple. It occupies zero space in your brain. That is the level that I want you to get to with your one habit to start with. And then from there, we add on another and we add on another and we can scale.

Okay.

All right. So to recap, let’s write out your goal. Maximum of five, but you really just need one. Aim for the moon. Shoot as high as you want to go. Okay. Identify your why and tweak it as you need to so that you are certain that you It is strong in why you are moving forward, that it is something you want to achieve as opposed to being focused on what you’re trying to let go of.

Okay. Switch the language and the desire around it if you need to. Okay. If you’re strong in where you’re going, great. But if it’s still kind of focused on where you were, that’s where you know, you need a little bit more attention. Now break your big goal down into milestones and chunks. However many you like, it depends on the size of your goal.

Now it is okay for you to start off with like four, um, And then if you’re starting to progress through it, you need to break it down some more. Perfect. Of course you can do that. But for now think top level mini chunks, milestone achievements along the way to your big goal. Now for your first mini. I want you to break that down into daily actionable tasks or your weekly tasks.

However, your schedule’s made up. There’s no right or wrong in that that will see you achieve. Your mini milestone. Now you can have a weekly milestone, or it can be something that you decide for a month again, there’s no right or wrong with that, but iron out the tasks that are required to achieve that milestone from there, the final step is to identify the habit that is most crucial to you achieving those goals.

And that could simply be. I’m going to put 30 minutes aside or 60 minutes aside once a week, twice a week, three times a week, daily, however, in order to do this. And in this time, that is all that I do. Okay. That is your daily habit or weekly habit. However, Because once you have this process, fine tuned now, all we’re doing is really checking in to see how we’re going.

If you’re finding yourself getting to the end of the week and your to do list is longer than it started, it’s about prioritizing what’s on that to do list. And does it achieve your milestone and therefore your goals? If it does, then great. If you need to change the date of the milestone, because perhaps you underestimated how much there was involved, no problem.

In time with this process, you’re going to be getting better at knowing how long things will take. And you’re going to get better at knowing what’s involved and you can find yourself setting your goals. In a way that’s very realistic that you’ll be able to achieve within the timeframe that you set until then, give yourself permission to play around with this process, to build a new habit, to build new goals, to make sure that you are driving yourself forward.

So that 2024 is going to be the year that you finally achieve the goals that you’ve been meaning to for so long.